The Summer Comparison Spiral: Why Confidence Feels Harder This Time of Year
I’m sure you’ve seen it too–the perfect hair, perfect fitness routine, perfect vacation, and of course the perfect “summer mom.” Everything is executed flawlessly and you just don’t know how it’s all done.
If the comparison monster feels like it is just peeking over your back, ready to consume you every summer…you’re not alone.
Summer often increases feelings of comparison because people are more visible online and offline. Everyone is sharing photos (online and offline) of their latest and greatest summer adventures.
These feelings of comparison that begin to overwhelm you typically come from a lack of confidence in your lifestyle and in some cases yourself.
The most important thing to note is that confidence is NOT built by “winning” the comparison game. Turning fun conversations into “my horse is bigger than your horse” will ruin the mood for everyone, including yourself.
Confidence is built by staying connected to yourself. When you are constantly comparing yourself to others, that is a level of emotional exhaustion that is difficult to recover from.
When you are connected to yourself, you rely on your values and the triumphs in your life. When you are too busy comparing yourself to your friend that just got back from an incredible trip to the Maldives, you’re missing out on the joy that comes from celebrating or supporting a friend.
If you’re at the park and you see that another mom has brought the perfect Pinterest picnic for her kids and you begin to compare, you’re stealing the joy from your own life of watching your kid cross the monkey bars for the first time.
When you notice that your brain starts to fall into these comparison traps I’d invite you to try one of these tips to interrupt that thought:
Unfollow accounts that trigger shame (It’s okay to set boundaries)
Intentionally point out things you’re grateful for that you can see
Focus on how your life feels, not how it looks
Comparison is a hard habit to break, and it can be incredibly difficult with the comparison “spikes” that are experienced in the summer. However, as you interrupt those thoughts (with the tips above), you will enjoy the present moment more and build stronger relationships.